Lets get things in perspective

[oznomad]

Hi Guys,
I've read many of the posts and I have some concerns. Even though I'm an egyptian by birth, male, 24, and most of my life I have been raised in Australia. I sympathise with many of the females that have fallen victim to such crooks. I'm so sorry, it really shames me to see my country men doing such things.
I've been to egypt a few times, and I've noticed many problems in Egyptian society. I feel the economic situation, unemployment, difficulty to get married etc is making make men do such things. Not that it should be a justification. But I can see underlying reasons behind this.
I have come across more successful cross cultural marriages then failed or cheated ones. I have met Egyptian men who have married from as far as Peurto Rico. But I know this might sound a bit crude of me, but it is not a smart idea to go for men who have a low socio-economic background, as they have nothing to lose. Offcourse you'll have the good ones and all, but one has to be careful.
Another thing to all the females, please stop holding Egyptian men to a higher standard, and snap out of the awe of mighty Egypt. These guys are not pharaohs, and are normal human beings like any other. I know the egyptian factor works well, as the mere mention of Egyptian on my campus here in OZ just sends some women into a sort of frenzy. I even got one last week telling me she believes she was an Egyptian in a past lifetime.
It saddens me that Egyptian society has become as stagnant as the economy. I feel serious economic reformation can defuse some of the mishappenings that is occuring.
I look at some of the photos of these guys, and I wonder "What are the women thinking?", all I see is ego plastered over their faces. I don't know if I could even have coffee with such guys.
But on a whole, it would unfair to smear all egyptian men, even most of them. Some of them back out of cross-cultural relationships because of a genuine feeling that it wont work out. If they steal money from their women, then that is a different story altogether. But some egyptian guys I come across have a romanticised view of the world, and how it should be. They at times dont know how to balance their ideals with a reality check. And at times, girls can get hurt. It comes under cultural misunderstanding. They should ban bollywood films in Egypt
I suggest the members of this forum try to reconsider some of their unfair views. The whole issue of cheating is a worldwide epidemic, it is in no case an Egyptian phenomenon. In any case, it must be a problem if someone can start a forum on it. However, we need to put things in perspective, as the moment we label all egyptian men as cheaters, it will be easier for cheaters from other nationalities to weave their way through and hurt more girls, if not the same ones. And at the end of the day, common sense will be the best guide.
Oznomad

[byhisgrace]

I totally agree.... I understand the purpose of the board and yes I feel its severs a good perpose. Yet I dont think all men, not matter what there culture or ethnic or even religous background maybe, should be lumped together as all the same.
Like I said before you got to sort out the bad apples, but there are always good ones out there. Thats just MHO...

[thomas]

Hello

I liked your mail. I think the reason many women come on here is to try and make some sense of what has happend to them and are very hurt and want some support .

I was a victim of a sharm guy and let me tell you ,this chap should get an oscar. I had no idea of all the giggolos and all the stories in sharm and I just went for a holiday .

to cut a long and painfuldtory short, he stole alot of money from me and cheated on other girls and I moved country for him and left my family,job and flat and to thsis day he thinks he has not done much wrong.

He says he is poor blah blah and can't give me a good life so that gives him the right to steal??!!!!!

I have been devsated by this and i hate it when people say how can you be so stupid but these guys are very very clever and they make you feel amazing .

he still calls and sends me texts messages and I have been back 9 months !!!!!

[oznomad]

Hi Thomas,
I'm really sorry to hear that, it is quite disturbing indeed. I've heard many things about Sharm guys. I'm not too sure if they are from the local sharm el sheikh people, or if they are Cairo residents going out to the tourist hotspots, to make a quick buck. I wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter.
I guess what happened to you , happens to a lot of females worldwide. I hear similar stories of women going to mexico, Thailand etc, and getting duped by a potential lover. I think Egypts close proximity to Europe, makes Europeans more susceptible. I wish there was some way I can help, I guess awareness is the best cure. I'm going to egypt in 2 weeks time, it will definately be a topic in my mind, when I mingle with Egyptians. This whole game is just too too wrong.

[thomas]

Hello

Maybe you can put my ex in jail!! I wanted to ask you aswell. when I first started seeing him he called me me on the phone one day crying(like i said good actor!!}

anyway he said thay he owed alot of money from freinds and that one of them went to the police and he said if he does not pay the money , he will go to jail!!!

now I am sure this is a con but people say that if you borrow from someone you can write down a contract and if they don'tpay back in a certain time then that person can go to the police!!!!


id this b......?

thanks

[lost]

oznomad.i am an australian and i was wondering if u read my story in this forum.......can u give me some insite into what i am dealing with here.......is he genuine or just another player..he says he is 28 but his manner and his ways r not of a 28 year old we would find in australia..even on cam he is looking into his 40"s.......
???i would appreciate anything u may have to add to what i have said in the forum........age difference.......shukran.........take care .InshAllah

[oznomad]

Hi Lost,
I've just read your story. You know, if a guy can't be honest about something as simple as age. Then it brings the whole issue of honesty and integrity into question. However, in Western society we are more willng to forgive a women who lies about her age (and we expect her too underestimate her age as well . But not the man. So I think on that aspect, we should be a bit lenient.
However, if it was age alone, then it might not be a big drama. But if he is giving conflicting accounts of events, time, people etc, then I would start to worry.
I would be very careful. It is extremely unusual for men in egyptian society to marry women who are older then them. It is infact frowned upon. It is your right to know his real age, that is if your engaging in some sort of relationship, then honesty and transparency would have to be the norm, as he would most likely expect the same.
Is it possible that he used a younger age initially because he expected to meet a younger girl?. And when you told him your real age, he decided to stick to the age he initially told you, out of fear of losing face. Anything is possible. When you said his father works in the post office and mum in the nursery, then that has the hallmarks of an impoverished household. God knows, I dont want to judge. But you just have to analyse things from what he has to lose and what he has to gain.
At the end of the day, what does your gut instinct tell you?. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then I guess it is a duck.

[oznomad]

Hi Thomas,
Really sorry, apparently I did not recieve an email notification for your last post.
I really wouldn't have a clue about the legal mechanisms of Egypts justice system. I'm told its a messy affair, that people just don't bother, unless its a mega issue, eg murder.
If a guy owes money and cant pay it back to creditors, it says alot about his fiscal responsibility. Which in turn means its suicidal to lend him money, as it increases the chances that you will not see that money coming back. Its a vicious cycle that only he has himself to blame. I've had the same experience with such people, thats why I've learned never to loan those, except family and close friends whom I trust will honour their word to pay back.
Thomas, I really dont how much it was you gave him. But look at a worse case scenerio, it indeed could have been worse.

[lost]

thank u for ur reply oznomad. That was my first thought that he wont admit to his age now as felt he would lose my trust and i think i mentioned that in my story. You are right in what u have answered me. Except one thing. Age in the middle East should not be shunned upon as Prophet Muhammad was much younger than his first wife and much older than his last wife.......otherwise that statement becomes controdictory. Thank u again for responding............

[oznomad]

I fully agree with you on the age issue, but I'm not speaking on behalf of all Arabs and Muslims. Just saying in parts of Egyptian society it is frowned upon. Overall, age isnt and shouldnt be a problem in the macro Islamic society.